The first rule of happiness is to be alone.
Probably no greater problem exists for mankind than learning to be alone and enjoying the benefits thereof. Great emphasis is placed upon our social skills and interactive capabilities during our formative years. We are taught the absolute value of control and the necessity to compete. The standards and values we are taught must be blindly accepted. Mankind does have strong social tendencies and those tendencies become more mandatory as our population centers continue to grow. While this is a requirement in any society, it is even more important when the control mechanisms are as complicated as they are. However, no where during this period are we taught to search within and to be alone. In fact, such ‘loner’ tendencies are portrayed as negative.
The American Indian realized the incredible importance of being alone and searching within. The braves of the tribe were sent away with nothing for many weeks in order that they learn to be alone and do some inner searching. They were to learn two extremely important lessons from this. First, they learned to trust the Great Spirit from within. Second, they learned to be in balance with nature. Although there was no one else present to care for their needs, they would discover that all of their needs were provided for by the Great Spirit and nature. When they returned, they would be an integral part of the tribe but only because they were also individuals unto themselves.
This lesson is sadly lost in modern day society where we search endlessly for happiness through others. All that we shall ever find under these circumstances will simply be pleasure. Pleasure and happiness are of different parentage. Furthermore, pleasure is but a momentary circumstance and requires continued re-stimulation. We search endlessly through this external environment when the answers are all within where we seldom, if ever, search.
The second rule of happiness is to love yourself.
We must learn to love ourselves first or we will never be able to love another. Most of the love known to mankind is a need-love stemming from some perceived dysfunctional aspect in our past. This perceived dysfunctionality is exacerbated by our continued search for external support for things which can only be satisfied from within. However, since we were never taught to search within and equally denounced should we be caught doing such, we fail to search to only place where we could find answers. The answers to our happiness are all within our own very being.
© Dr. Jon C. Fulfs – June 1997
[Part of book in progress entitled ‘The Eagle Within’]